Week 2 Published In Books. They're In There... READ

Four Teams Made Of Garbage

Week two is over, but the losing continues for Absolution, Blue Pills, Clams and Ancient Rome. Week three hosts a battle of titans and trashiest, with the undefeated Dinners and Leafs going head to head. Will the Scrivens rake the Leafs, or be stuffed by them? Also, who will be recycled and receive their first win between the Pills and Clams? Only 7 days will tell! Now, to recap Week 2.

Matchup Review

Raptor Bangers	381.2
TheBluePill Errections	319.7

With Phil Kessel being a complete and utter disappointment, it was the Bangers' binky (James Neal) to the rescue. The Bangers also wisened up, and picked up more than half a goalie, and racked up over 70 points in the process. Krejci is the only player to show up for the Errections, and with him being a Boston Bruin, that should be all you need to know. The Errections fall to 0-2 while the Bangers taste .500.

Shrew Crew	397.2
N. Prov Quahogs	297.7

The Shrew Crew practiced the 'No Mercy' rule, as she steamed the Clams by almost 100 points. The Pink Pearls drop to 0-2 and have a date with Erectile Dysfunction Destiny in Week 3 to see who will climb out of the pits. The crew had significantly balanced scoring, but should consider kicking Varlamov to the curb... but not in a domestic violence sort of way.

Go Leafs Go All The Way	417.3
Southie Hard	387.5

Southie was brought back down to Earth... Hard, by the rampaging GO LEAFS GO ALL THE WAY... whose name is like an exercise in Typing 101. The Leafs' goaltending was superb, posting 107 points, despite Bobrovsky, who is reckless, and off the force. Southie had several players in the high 30's, which would normally translate in an automatic win. Unfortunately, this week he was up against the Leafs' juggernaut. Who will be our David to Go All The Way's Goliath?

Return of the Mullet	360.7
Boston Romans	273.8

In the very definition of 'Friendicide', the Mullets were all business in dismantling the Romans, partying on their sandaled corpses. Crosby is still in the backroom, fondling Kessel and giggling while everyone else is playing hockey, and it's costing the Romans. Sedin and Gaborik are also MIA. The Mullets decided to completely forgo goaltending, and still pulled out the big W.

Pray for Absolution	312.8
Thankscrivens Dinner	346.7

In our final matchup of week 2, Absolution failed to say grace before Thankscrivens Dinner and was thoroughly basted, tenderized and viciously consumed. Tyson Barrie is an asshole, and Duncan Keith is out with a torn meniscus. The Dinner needed 5 goalies to outduel Absolution, but it wasn't hard with Lundqvist and Bishop laying eggs. So many eggs. So much Dinner. Dion Phaneuf also discovered opposite week, and sucked on one of those eggs. Thankscrivens has a tough test in week 3, so he should bask in this win as long as possible.

Congratulations

The following section should just read, "Go Leafs Go All The Way's weekly accomplishments."

Award	Team	Reason
Winner of the Week	Go Leafs Go All The Way	The Leafs' pimp hand is red hot, and smacked the league for 417.3 points.
Goaltender of the Week	Go Leafs Go All The Way	Carey Price's 38.9 points
Forward of the Week	Go Leafs Go All The Way	Tyler Seguin's 41.4 points. deju vu?
Defenseman of the Week	N. Prov Quahogs	Roman Josi's 35.8 points. The Clams bust the flush.
Just the Worst	Boston Romans	League Low 273.8 points